H. Kent Hughes writes a good article about the communication “firecrackers” that couples can unwittingly throw into the smoldering flames of an argument.  He starts by saying,

Many couples argue like that burning leaf pile. There’s a conflict (fire) between them. Then they throw in some communication firecrackers, which serve only to spread and intensify the conflict by putting their spouse on the defensive.

Here’s a quick summary of the firecrackers - please go and read the entire article - it goes further into giving an example of what each “firecracker” looks like and talks about the harm it brings.  It’d be a good article to sit down and read as a couple!

• Firecracker #1: Threats
• Firecracker #2: Name-Calling
• Firecracker #3: Blame
• Firecracker #4: Exaggerations

In case you missed the link to the article above.  Here it is again: “4 Communication Firecrackers” by H. Kent Hughes
4 Communication Firecrackers - Marriage